Stormy Seas
by Laurashley
Summary: Whoever said love was smooth sailing had clearly never truly been in love.
1. Calm Before The Storm

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.  
  
Pregnant!!  
  
Catherine couldn't believe it! Another baby! She never expected it, not at her age anyway. She didn't think it was possible. While she was still with Eddie they had tried unsuccessfully for another baby before things soured between them. But the new life growing inside her was proof that miracles do happen.  
  
Catherine was ecstatic. She had yearned for siblings for Lindsey for years but had despaired of it ever happening. She had missed and craved the feeling of holding a soft cuddly baby in her arms again. She couldn't wait till the little one was born. She hoped for a boy this time, although a little girl would be just as welcome. 'I hope that he or she looks just like their father...'  
  
'Gil... Can we .uhm.talk?' Catherine stammered. *Damn, why am I so nervous*, she silently cursed herself. Calm down, breathe, everything would be alright. It was just that Gil could be such an enigma at times that she didn't know his reaction would be. Furthermore, this would be his first child and he was 50! Not exactly over the hill, but.. Oh God!  
  
Gil smiled at the image of Cath hovering nervously in front of his office. 'Cath, is it important? If you don't mind, can we talk about it after work? I still have a lot of paperwork to catch up on.'  
  
'Uhm, sure, after work is fine' Cath answered and shot off down the hall.  
  
Why was she so fidgety? Gil wondered.  
  
Catherine was getting very worked up at the thought of telling Gil that she was expecting his child. They had been friends for years, but had only been romantically involved for little more than a year. They had not planned for the future, deciding to take one day at a time. Giving them time to adjust to the new relationship. The baby would change things and Catherine's imagination was working overtime at all the possible scenarios after she told Grissom that she was pregnant. They had not talked about getting married, much less having a baby.  
  
She didn't even know if he wanted to be a father. She knew that he always felt uncomfortable with children, as he did not know what to do around them. But he got along well with her daughter, and her daughter adored her 'uncle Gil'.  
  
By the time Gil let himself into her house, Catherine was a nervous wreck.  
  
'Hey' Catherine muttered as Gil kissed her gently on the forehead.  
  
'What is it you wanted to talk about?'  
  
'Erm, I ...er.we.' Catherine mumbled, silently berating herself for sounding like an idiot.  
  
Meanwhile, Gil was chuckling. 'I never thought that I would see the day Catherine Willows was unable to string complete sentences together!'  
  
'Gil, I'm pregnant.' Catherine finally said, not meeting Gil in the eye.  
  
Silence.  
  
'Gil?' Catherine asked when the silence had become unbearable. When she did not get a reply, she walked over to him and put a tentative hand on his arm.  
  
When he felt Catherine's hand on his arm, Gil was shocked out of his stupor. He couldn't believe his ears. Pregnant! Catherine was having his child! Theirs!  
  
'I.I .it's too much to take in for now. I need to be alone for a while.'  
  
Catherine nodded, looking at the man in front of her, knowing that her bombshell had shocked him to the core and that he needed time to think about what would happen next. She did not blame him, but she had wished for a more enthusiastic reaction to her news, that he would wrap her in his arms and tell her how happy he was to become a father. 


	2. The Storm!

At his own place, Gil was trying to digest the news that he would become a father in less than eight months.  
  
Catherine was not young, already in her early-forties, and it had been more than a decade since her last baby. Gil was worried about her health and that of the baby. He had heard about the complications that could arise with these so-called high-risk pregnancies where the mothers were above the age of 35.  
  
Gil got up and went to do some research about pregnancies over forty. He did not like what he found. The more he found out, the more worried he became.  
  
'Hey Gil,' Catherine said as she opened her door to him when he came to pick her up for work.  
  
She had put a hand on his arm and was leaning in to give him a kiss when Gil spoke.  
  
'Cath, do you think keeping the baby is a good idea?' Gil shot out without thinking.  
  
'What?' Catherine's hand pulled away abruptly as though she had been burned.  
  
Catherine could not believe what she had just heard. Her boyfriend, if you could call him that, had just suggested that perhaps she should get rid of the child, their unborn baby? She would have expected that from Eddie, but not Gil.  
  
'Cath, what I mean is that there could be complications in pregnancies such as yours. I'm not saying that I do not want this baby, but we have to think about the possible consequences as well.' Grissom said as he tried to explain to the distraught woman standing opposite him, staring at him as though she did not know who he was, what he was doing in front of her house.  
  
'I have read about the complications that could arise in pregnancies over forty Cath. There are higher chances of birth defects and Down syndrome. You could also have high blood pressure and a weak placenta which could not only cause a miscarriage, but would also lead to hemorrhaging as well, which puts the mother's life at risk.'  
  
'Those are not the only problems Cath. Perhaps it would be better if you.' Gil did not have time to complete the sentence before Catherine went back into her house and slammed the door shut.  
  
'Cath? Open the door please? I didn't..'  
  
'Go away Gil and leave me alone. I'll make into the lab on my own later.' Catherine managed to say before bursting into tears.  
  
Gil heart wrenched as he heard Catherine sob. He never meant to hurt her. He hadn't meant to burst it out like that. He was supposed to approach the matter calmly and slowly, to go through the alternatives with her, but look what had happened. I really need to brush up on my communication skills Gil thought.  
  
Not wanting to leave her alone at a time like this, Gil decided to call Sara. The two female CSIs had gotten closer over the past year and Gil knew that Sara would be able to help.  
  
'Sara, it's Grissom here. Listen, I need you to do me a little favor..'  
  
'You what? Grissom! How could you? How could you even suggest such a thing?' Sara practically screamed down the line at him.  
  
'Of course I didn't mean it like that,' he said, frustrated, hurting, sorry beyond anything else that he was hurting Catherine.  
  
'I'll see what I can do, but it sounds like you have done a lot already. Better not expect us to show up for work tonight. Yeah, I'll call you later.'  
  
'Cath, open the door please. It's me, Sara.' Sara pleaded with Catherine after her insistent knocking at her friend's door went unanswered. She was getting worried when the door opened to reveal a weary-looking Catherine. It was obvious that she had been crying. The normally vibrant Catherine was gone, leaving a totally different woman in her place.  
  
'Oh Sara.' Catherine muttered before falling into the younger woman's arms. She did not cry, not because she didn't want to, but because she had no tears left.  
  
Sara didn't know what to say. She had never seen the other woman like this before, not even when she had lost her ex-husband.  
  
'I'd rather lose my life than take the life of a child.' Catherine said after they had settled down on the couch. 'I can't believe that he actually suggested that I .' Catherine couldn't go on.  
  
'Cath, he is just worried about you. He cares too much to let anything happen to you.'  
  
'Yeah, but I can't do it Sara. I want this baby so much. It's already a part of me. I can't just get rid of it like that. What if I am able to carry this baby to term safely without any complications? It's not impossible to have babies in your forties anyway.'  
  
'If he doesn't agree with me, that's too bad. I can do it on my own.' Catherine said firmly.  
  
Sara could hear the resolve in the older woman's voice. She did not doubt that Catherine would do anything in her power to keep this baby. Sara knew how much she loved children.  
  
A/N: Sorry if I made any false assumptions about the risks for pregnant women over 35. I also apologize if Grissom's reaction to the baby seemed a little extreme and over the top, but I needed something to explain the cause of a sudden friction in their relationship. Do tell me what you think! 


	3. The Aftermath

Some weeks later, as Catherine was sitting with Lindsey in the living room watching television, she stood up suddenly and rushed towards the bathroom. She made it to the bathroom, barely. She retched until her ribs hurt.  
  
'Mommy?'  
  
Catherine looked up to see her daughter standing next to her, brushing her hair away from her face gently. 'Here, drink this. Sara said that it might help,' Lindsey said as she handed a cup of weak tea to her mother and wiped her forehead with a wet washcloth.  
  
Catherine looked at her daughter and tears welled in her eyes. She hugged her daughter close and let the tears fall. She had wanted him to be the one to mop her forehead and to comfort her when she was sick, but now all she had was her daughter.  
  
She had taken a year's leave of absence from her job, as she knew that she could not go out on the field anyway due to departmental policies that confined expecting employees to deskwork. Besides, she needed time away from him to think of what to do. Warrick had found her a temporary job in his friend's legal firm. That helped financially as Catherine could not really afford to take time off work, not with Lindsey and the coming baby to support.  
  
He had not said a word, had not done anything to persuade her to change her mind. After that, he didn't even call to check up on her any more. Like he didn't care anymore. That was what that had hurt most. It seemed that she had lost him. Or had he ever been hers to lose in the first place? Catherine did not know.  
  
The next day, Sara came over as she claimed she was bored to death at home and wanted to spend some time with Lindsey. Catherine knew that her friend was worried about her and was trying to keep tabs on her. Not that she minded. She was touched that someone actually cared enough to worry about her.  
  
Nick, Warrick and even Greg had dropped by occasionally to check on her or to take Lindsey out so she could have some time to herself. She was very touched by their concern and caring. It seemed that all but the one that mattered most was worried about her.  
  
'Hey Cath. How are you feeling?' Sara asked as she gave Catherine a hug.  
  
'I'm sure you know the answer to that one Sara. You check in with Linds every night! I'm fine. Thanks for asking. Not throwing up that often anymore.' Catherine answered as Sara looked accusingly at Lindsey who shrugged sheepishly.  
  
'Good. How did the checkup go? Sorry I couldn't go with you.'  
  
'It's ok Sara. Everything's all right as far as they can tell, but the blood pressure is a bit high though.'  
  
Sara ran an observing eye over Catherine as she spoke. She noticed that the blonde had that 'glow' associated with pregnant women, her hair having a nice sheen to it, framing her face like a halo. But there were also shadows around her eyes and her smile never reached her eyes anymore.  
  
When Sara arrived at the lab, she stormed into Grissom's office. 'I can't stand it any more. What on earth are you two doing? You obviously still care for her and anyone with eyes can see that she is pining for you and yet you two are avoiding each other like the plague!'  
  
Grissom just looked nonchalant at her outburst. 'How's Catherine?' he asked calmly.  
  
"Grissom, I'm not your messenger. If you really want to know how she's doing, why don't you just ask her!' Sara shouted before stepping out of the office. 


	4. Trouble!

A/N: Short chapter here. Writer's block.  
  
As Sara stomped out of Grissom's office, she nearly knocked Nick and Warrick off their feet.  
  
'Whoa, cowgirl, where's the fire?' Nick said as he caught hold of Sara to steady her.  
  
'I just can't stand how Grissom is treating Catherine. Ok, so he made a mistake. Now why can't he just be there for her when he so obviously wants to? All he has to do is to apologise and I'm sure Catherine would welcome him back with open arms.'  
  
'Can't answer that Sara, but I do know this though. After knowing about the baby, you live on a different level, become aware of things- of feelings - you'd never realized were floating around before. That was what I experienced when Tanya told me about Chris. Perhaps Gris is just having some conflicting feelings regarding the baby.' Warrick answered.  
  
'Maybe he is still feeling guilty for even asking Cath to abort the baby. Maybe he thinks that she doesn't want him around anymore, you know?' Nick added his thoughts on the matter, clearly concerned.  
  
'Yeah. But the least he could do is admit that. He keeps telling people that he is happy with how things are right now. Giving all that crap about this being better for the two of them, my foot!' Sara continued.  
  
'For a man who is happy, he's sure giving an excellent imitation of one who's being eaten up inside. Let's hope he gets a grip on his feelings before she gives up hope.' Nick observed as they all shook their heads helplessly. They had such great hopes for the couple, who had come a long way before finally getting together, only to be cruelly torn apart.  
  
Meanwhile, Catherine had just seen Lindsey off to school when her head started pounding, making it difficult to think. Her right arm was numb. She tried shaking it, thinking it was asleep, but she couldn't feel it tingle. Couldn't feel anything at all. She managed to walk over to the couch before she lost her peripheral vision. The pain in her head had reached a crescendo and she didn't think she could take much more. At this precise moment, death would be a welcome alternative. 


	5. All's Not Well

A/N: Don't know much about medical terms and procedures. So there may be some mistakes.  
  
'43 year old pregnant female, found unconscious, B.P .' the paramedics informed the hospital staff as they rolled the gurney into the hospital.  
  
Sara was distraught. She had gone over to Catherine's house to have lunch with her when she found her friend unconscious. Please be all right Catherine. Sara prayed.  
  
Meanwhile, Nick and Warrick had rushed over to the hospital once they heard the news.  
  
'How's she?'  
  
'Don't know. They are still working on her. Oh God, I hope she's ok.'  
  
Just then, Catherine's doctor came up to them.  
  
'Ms. Sidle? Catherine is all right for now. But I would like to keep her here for overnight observation. Her blood pressure was rather high when they brought her in. We can almost be certain that there are no other problems for now. We have ordered tests to be sure and the results should be out by tomorrow. All she needs basically is more rest and less stress. She would have to monitor her blood pressure though. Can't have this happening again.'  
  
'Thank you doctor.' Sara managed before sighing in relief.  
  
'Where's Lindsey?' ever practical Nick asked.  
  
'She's at my place. Tanya's keeping an eye on her. I'll keep her for the night. Where's Grissom anyway? Did anyone call him?' Warrick asked as Sara nodded her head.  
  
'Let's hope he cares enough to turn up.' Sara said before going in to check on Catherine.  
  
That afternoon, after the others had left, a lone figure came and sat by the bed, looking at the woman sleeping on the bed. He gently took her hand in his and squeezed it. He was so relieved to know that she was all right. His heart had stopped when Sara called him to say that Catherine had been admitted into the hospital.  
  
She looked rather pale and lifeless and his heart went out to her. She looked so vulnerable, not at all the strong vivacious woman he knew her to be.  
  
As he was about to get up and talk to Catherine's doctor about her condition, he felt a slight movement from her.  
  
'Cath?' he said gently as her eyelids fluttered before opening to reveal the deep blue eyes that he loved.  
  
She looked at him and the pool of tears gathering in her eyes began to fall silently down her face.  
  
'Oh, Catherine, don't cry please. The baby's fine. Everything is going to be fine.' Grissom said as he went over to gather her into his arms. 


	6. Happily Ever After?

A/N: Ok, this is the grand finale! Hope you are satisfied with the ending!  
  
The next day, Grissom went with Lindsey to bring Catherine home. Grissom knew that he had to see Catherine through this pregnancy. They could sort out the problems between them later. She deserved to enjoy this pregnancy, not to have to worry about her future and what she was going to do after the baby was born. He felt he owed her that, at least.  
  
After he had brought her home and was about to tuck her into bed, Catherine spoke up.  
  
'Thanks Gris. You don't have to stay. We'll be fine,' she said, dismissing him.  
  
Gris. She had called him Gris, something she hadn't called him that for a long time. . . And she had said that he didn't have to stay. That hurt Grissom.  
  
He walked out of the room but could not bring himself to leave her house.  
  
He sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands. How did they come to this?  
  
He cursed the day that he thought that terminating the pregnancy was the only answer. He had wanted the baby, just not to the extent that he would risk losing Catherine.  
  
Somehow, he had managed to lose her anyway.  
  
He walked silently into her room, a room that they had shared once, to check on her. He stared at her before walking over and placing a gentle kiss on her lips before he could stop himself.  
  
'Gris?' Catherine's voice was groggy with sleep. Her eyes, when they opened and met his, were filled with desire -- and questions.  
  
Feeling like a first-class jerk, Grissom stepped back from the bed.  
  
Catherine sat up and moved over from her position in the center of the bed, making room for him to join her. She looked at him in silent invitation.  
  
'Catherine.' He didn't know what to say. Couldn't think for the desire burning through him.  
  
He could tell by the seriousness of her gaze that she understood his doubts. He suspected that she had some major doubts of her own.  
  
'Cath, I .Just listen to me for a while ok?'  
  
She just nodded, pulling the sheets higher, up to her chin.  
  
'I sorry I asked you to reconsider having the baby,' Grissom said, choosing his words carefully as he knew that he was on thin ice here.  
  
'I just want you to know that I wasn't thinking clearly. I was just worried that I could lose you. I couldn't bear that, not when I had waited so long for you. I wanted the baby, I was just not prepared for you to risk your life for it. I would rather not have it then contemplate losing you. Besides, we already have Linds. All that information I found about high- risk pregnancies had really freaked me out. I forgot the fact that lots of women have babies up to their mid-forties. That lapse in judgement cost me greatly.' Grissom said somberly.  
  
'But Gil, I understood that. What I could not understand was how you could just walk away from me after that. I needed you to be there for me, to share the experience with me. I wanted you to come for every appointment, to hear the baby's heartbeat.everything, but you weren't there. You acted as though you didn't care, as if there was never an 'us' to begin with,' Catherine said, feeling fresh tears welling in her eyes.  
  
'Catherine, I'm sorry, I really am. I would do anything to take away the hurt that I have caused. When Sara called me that day, I nearly died, I thought that I had lost you forever. That was when I realized that I had been a complete idiot.' Grissom said as he gave in to temptation and joined Catherine on the bed, holding her close, putting a tentative hand over the slight mound where their baby lay.  
  
'Ha, you should have just come to me. I could have told you that much earlier and saved us all that heartbreak!' Catherine said with a watery smile.  
  
Grissom smiled down at the blonde angel grinning at him and bent down to kiss her. ' I love you Catherine. Always remember that.' he whispered.  
  
'I love you too Gil.' She whispered back before pushing him so that he fell flat on the bed.  
  
As he lay there, holding her, he knew that they were going to be just fine. As long as they loved each other. It would not be smooth sailing all the way, but Grissom knew that this time, no matter how big the storm or how harsh the seas, he would not be giving up on them so easily. They were going to be a family, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.  
  
*** The End *** 


End file.
